The Fat Cow Complex :: essays research papers

It’s mid-June. I graduated a few days earlier and here I am sitting nervously on a bench outside Lane Bryant, staring at the gate It’s my first job interview ever. I’m nervous as hell. I must have dried my hands fifty times on my dress but they’re still sticky with sweat. A woman comes to the front and opens the gate. She asks my name, I tell her. She nods, smiles, shakes my hand, introduces herself as Fran and tells me how cute I look. I beam and thank her. I’m not used to compliments. One of the questions she asks me is what my best shopping experience was like. I rack my brain. What kind of question is that? I think. Taking a deep breath I reply that it would have to be the first time I ever shopped there, at Lane Bryant. She looks at me skeptically. I explain how my mom guided me there after a long discouraging day of school clothes shopping. To pacify her, I follow and try on jeans and a t-shirt. I leave the dressing room to model for Mom and the sales lady squeals over how good I look. I’m taken aback. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know that she does this to make the sale but it’s the first time I’ve ever been complimented by a salesperson. I feel welcome here. I don’t get the â€Å"You? You think you’ll be able to buy anything here?† look. By the end of my story I’m nearly in tears. I smile sheepishly. I get the job. As I leave, Tess, another woman who works at the store, tells me I look great. I do. I am beautiful.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Early July. Mel invites twenty of her closest friends to swim in her pool after a barbecue at the beach. I’m standing on the deck, beach towel wrapped around me. Everyone else is in the pool. I’m trying to think of the least conspicuous way to slip into the warm inviting pool. Amanda notices I’m just standing there and calls for me to join them, also calling everyone's attention to me. I swallow the huge lump in my throat, throw my towel over the rail and jump in the water, praying no one saw the jiggling of my thighs as I leapt. Later they’re having chicken fights and I’m floating alone in the deep end.